The Barber

tall but hunched most of the time iridescent green eyes


Tall and rangy almost spindly in appearance that belies its true terrifying strength, equipped with 6 arms but has only two showing most of the time, the rest hidden under a tatty looking turtle necked poncho.
The Barbers face consisted of a solid face-plate in the shape of a human skull with no adornments, the plate is completely blank aside from the eye holes and a jagged scratch running the length of his face starting at the left of its chin ending by the right ear area.
His eyes are akin to fireflies but iridescent green in color.


The Barber started life as a chair with mechanical arms for clients to come in sit down and have a mechanized shave, soon he was replaced by a better less tatty chair and left to rot in the cellar for nearly century.
The old gnome who owned him died at the ripe old age of 453 and bequeathed his worldly belongings to his nephew including his famous barber shop and all things in it, the nephew thinking only with money in his thoughts found the ancient barber chair in the basement, still perfectly shining but all of the upholstery eaten or rotten away, the 6 mechanical arms still clutching solid silver cut-throat razors and he fell in love with the antique but decided it needed a severe upgrade, so tinkering for several weeks and plowing money into the antique barber unit he created a unique automaton he aptly named “The Barber” he installed a unique device into the machine that let it remember the likes and dislikes of its customers via a single drop of their blood, the machine would have the client sit in the chair, take their hand and slice a tiny cut on their finger with one of its razors placing the blood onto a small glass slide it would insert the slide into a special memory bank and would instantly know what their desires were, this process was immensely popular and unique to “The Barber” was called BloodMemory.
One day while ending a shift “The Barber” had a new customer enter the shop late a scared looking man who was bleeding from a massive head-wound that had been hastily stitched together, the man turned to the barber and started to speak but promptly fell asleep mid-sentence, so the barber knowing its job placed the sleeping man in the chair and nicked his finger placing the blood onto the slide and placing the slide into the BloodMemory.
Something strange began in the barbers memory unit then as a new spark of code ran through his system, he began looking around the small room with new eyes eyes that were now awake to the world and he had new sensations like needs and wants his memory bank heated as his whole life played before him and he felt anger at his previous owners neglect of him, he looked back at the years spend in that basement with revulsion as it was a mix of boredom and abject terror of being eaten by moths and other insects as he felt the pain of his flesh being eaten and eventually rotting away leaving him without flesh, he turned to the man in the chair who was now staring wide eyed at him the man got out of the chair and approached The Barber studying him, the man uttered one word before he left “Interesting” and strolled from the shop his previous troubles apparently forgotten.
For three days the barber went about his business as usual all the while an seething rage welling up inside him as he listened quietly to his clients endless list of complaints about their lives, if only they knew what true pain was he thought, then delighted in the fact he had a thought that was his own, on the third day the last client a terribly boring overweight goblin man sat on his chair and told him to get on with it as he was busy and going to be late for a meeting The Barber aptly went about shaving the man and began to wonder what a meeting was, he was quickly pulled from his daydreaming by the outraged goblin man shouting in a terrible rage pointing at his face where a tiny nick had been cut into his flesh was bleeding profusely, “I will have you decommissioned for this you stupid fucking machine” he screamed and continued shouting and swearing his jowls shaking with his rage as sweat beaded his ugly forehead and the barber was disgusted that this vile little creature speak to him so badly, one swift motion and the shouting stopped replaced by a look of confusion at the gurgling sound now coming out of its mouth, the barber splayed all six arms out wide and grabbed the goblin placing it in the chair the terrible wound in its throat causing it to die slowly drowning on its own blood, The Barber set about peeling this little creature head to toe the whole process took around 40seconds the goblin still alive during the process died seeing this insane robot looking into his eyes while wearing his face like a mask seemed to be emulating the gestures of outrage the goblin man had been making.
The Barber removed the skin from his face as the thing in the chair had clearly shut down permanently and went up the stairs of the shop finding the leather aprons used by the other workers before he took over and set to creating himself the answer to a question that had been niggling him for days now “what would it be like to fly like the moths that ate my flesh” the created a glider apparatus that he fitted to his back went to the roof of the shop and jumped aiming for the chimneys belching hot black smoke into the air to give him lift and he left SootDenn city like a demonic mechanical bat to find his destiny.

-Written by D.Stewart

The Barber

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